Day 2- Facing the pain more - RELATIONSHIP CAPSULES

 

Do I give up on Love?

One day, someone shared with me how she got her heart broken several times and had given up on love. 

She cried so hard and explained how she gave all her time, energy, body, money, passion and strength to loving a man who ended up cheating on her with her office colleague. I felt her pain. I did. I cuddled her as I was speechless. You know, at that point, I could understand how much a hurting person just needed silence and an opportunity to voice out their pain without being judged, criticized or disturbed. I told her to cry. She needed it.

As I listened to her story and pains, I began to reflect on my past relationship. I got interested in digging out why things went wrong from my end. I tried to pluck out lessons I could hold on to in life. I needed to heal also.

According to research, psychologist states that, the pain a person feels during an emotional trauma equals to a physical pain. As much as I was trying to soothe her, her story sparked up the part of me that needed to be healed. How can a hurting person heal another? But yet, I kept still.

I remembered that when mine happened, I felt it was better for the earth to swallow me. I didn't expect it. I fought for the relationship. I tried all I could to make it work. I gave my all and I got shattered. "This couldn't be happening", I thought.

For every single person I explained my predicament to, they could feel the energy in my pain. It was real and hurting. Every part of me wanted answers, wanted healing and love again. It was hard. I remember making a little prayer out to God. I said, "Help me not to love a man this much again". That was also an unconscious belief I had to later work on.

I needed to face the pain and I also wanted her to let it out too.

I have learnt that you cannot overcome what you do not face.

You can't ignore not being hurt. You know it. It's right there in your pounding heart.

Sometimes, our efforts to hide the pain and cope with it lead us into more unhealthy acts. You see other people smiling and you just ask yourself, "Why me?"

In your bid to hide your pain, you create an escape route via eating disorders leading to "adding weight", drug, hatred, depression, aggression  or keeping to yourself.

As I confronted the pain, I began to realise how much I hadn't create time to find out more about myself, discover my strengths, become valuable, understand my personality and values, increase my attraction forces, become a likeable person and more. I realised that I needed to pause and face the giants in my life. I needed to celebrate my uniqueness before anyone could spot it in my life.

You must discover more about yourself. You can overcome the pain. Time heals pain. With God, all things are possible. You can choose not to end your life in more worries, fear and anxiety. You can choose to re-write your story. You can choose to be strong and make wiser decisions. You can choose to learn, seek knowledge and find out how best to love again.

Your story is not over. Can you flip another fresh page open?