How grateful are you?

Towards the end of last year, I left my job in a multinational to pursue something my heart has always yearned for. So I thought.

Though, with wrong motives, and should I say wrong persons ( God always has a purpose for everything you know).

Two months into this dreams, I was completely worn-out, broken, discouraged, deserted, confused, lost. Every word you can use for anyone who is left with the option of giving up!

And oh yes, I prayed very well and sort for counsel before I took that step.

But God why this? why now? why me? I thought You spoke to me clearly? I thought I heard You clearly?. Those were the questions that ran through my mind as I communicated with God in my 'Alone moments'

I can't count how many times I shed tears silently at night. But guess what? God was silent. I no longer feel His presence at all. I pray, I gist with Him the way I normally do but nothing happened.

Everyone around me seemed to be concentrating on their own issues more. Including my closest friend.

So many ideas started crawling in, I thought of what to do? What's the quickest way out?

In church one of the Sundays, my teacher and father (Immanuel Tunde) said and I quote, " if I were God, I will charge humans for the air they breathe by the size of their nose. Big nose, big money. If people would pay thousands of naira to afford oxygen for a sick loved one, then we should be grateful to God, not just for the things we see but also the things we don't see. For the things we have and things we don't have "

Then, I realised that I have been very self centered and ungrateful, not just because of the situation I was in but because each time God does something spectacular for me, I withhold the testimony. I don't even count it to be one. 

Everyday, I keep complaining of not having this and not having that. God I want a fair friend, intelligent and social and when God gives me that, I complained that she is too fair, too intelligent and too social.

I virtually condemned everything around me without knowing. 

But then, there is always a way God talks to us, and not just talking to us, THERE IS A WAY GOD TEACHES HIS OWN.

Mine was this moment.....

He needed me to learn, be taught again, to be humble again, and I knew within my heart that one of the ways I learn quickly and wholeheartedly were in my broken moment.

How grateful are you? Are you also like me? do you always want everything thing to be perfect before you say THANK YOU FATHER for this one?